Date: Tue, 05 Nov 1996 21:57:59 GMT
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<HEAD><TITLE>Thoughts on being a hedgehog</TITLE></HEAD>
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<H2>Thoughts on Being a Hedgehog</H2>

<P> Imagine you're a toaster.  Actually, imagine you thought you were a toaster,
but one day you find out you're really a hedgehog.  

<P> Now, at first glance this isn't a big deal.  Toasters and hedgehogs
are about the same size, they both get things done pretty slowly, and in
the right setting, they can both be cute.  But there are important differences.

<P> When you're a machine, you really only have to worry about getting your
job done.  People don't expect much else of you.  You're strictly a 
functional object.  

<P> But animals have different purposes and needs.  They want to be looked
at and handled.  They get very unhappy when they're isolated.  And they 
want very badly to go into dark places and do things with other animals that
are just <EM>nasty</EM>.

<P> Toasters don't feel much.  I mean, they might masturbate, but that's just
like retensioning your tape, or backwashing your filter.  It's something you
need to do every once-in-a-while to avoid problems and keep things running
smoothly.  Hedgehogs feel like all other animals do, which causes all sorts
of complications.

<P> All this is made worse by the fact that if you thought you were a toaster,
you probably became pretty good at making toast.  This has made you 
surround yourself with people who want toast.  But after you find out 
you're a hedgehog it's a lot harder to deliver.

<P> In a way it's a shame to find out you're not what you thought you were.
I was well on my way to becoming a pretty good toaster.  But it's probably 
better to know you're a hedgehog.

<P> <!WA0><A HREF="http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~keeper/">Back home.</A>

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